She skipped two grades and came to Nashville alone at 16 to attend 91ĢĘ²®»¢, something she describes as āa pretty big culture shock.ā But she also found, for the first time, a community of other Asian American students. āThatās something I was sort of excited about, being able to meet people with a similar background. I still value those friendships.ā
She was focused on a pre-med track academically but continued to pursue her writing. āI took a lot of creative classes but went into STEM because it was more practical,ā she says. āI thought writing was something I could never do as the child of immigrants who had really struggled in the U.S.ā She served as poetry editor for The 91ĢĘ²®»¢ Review and in her sophomore year studied traditional verse and form in a workshop with acclaimed poet Mark Jarman, who recalls her as āone of the outstanding students in a class of outstanding students.ā The group included, in Jarmanās words, āsome very strong seniors,ā as well as Nate Marshall, who is now an important figure in the poetry world. Nevertheless, he says, ādespite her youth, she held her own in that class.ā Jarman is thanked in the bookās acknowledgements for his kindness and for shaping Qiās early understanding of the craft.
Qi ultimately veered away from her medical school ambitions in favor of research. She says she was never terribly enthusiastic about becoming a physician, and taking a job in a lab gave her a taste for the culture of research. āI liked working in the lab. People were curious about things, and it was a more laid-back environment.āĢż
Looming over all her undergraduate experiences, however, was her motherās lengthy illness and eventual death, which came during Qiās senior year. āIt was such emotional whiplash when my mom was ill,ā she says. āMy parents kept a lot of things from me. They didnāt want my academic performance to suffer. But when I came home, suddenly I was expected to be in a caretaker role.ā
This, too, had an impact on Qiās decision to forgo a medical career. Though both her parents spoke English, they had difficulty navigating the demands of the U.S. health care system. āYou really have to advocate for yourself here,ā Qi says, āand they werenāt used to that.ā The task fell to Qi, who confronted terribly difficult decisions, especially during her motherās final days, with no real support from the doctors. āI felt like I had a very bad, traumatizing experience,ā she says of that period. āSome people might look at that and think, āIām going to be the one to change things,ā but I was just so turned off by what I had seen.ā
Qi carried that experience with her as she pursued her doctorate in San Francisco. āIn grad school, I became obsessed with this idea that we need to change attitudes around death,ā she says, noting that the taboo against accepting death in a frank and humane way is shared by American and Chinese cultures.
Initially she found it too painful to write about her experience but says, āAfter about a year, it started to pour out.ā She began to attend a weekly poetry workshop run by a UCSF professor and physician, David Watts, who urged her to turn the resulting flood of poems into a book. She became interested in science journalismābecause it seemed āmore practical than poetryāāand served as editor-in-chief of UCSFās student newspaper. She also began writing personal essays, including two exquisite pieces on her motherās death published in The Atlantic and The New York Times.
